piss_on_you

you have no clue

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 23:12:51 GMT

can you look me in the eye and tell me what im going through?
can you look me in the eye and tell me that im really ok?

can you look me in the eye and think everything is ok?

you cant, so don't fucking judge me

you honestly have no clue what i went through this weekend, and i really don't want to talk about it.....

i never want to go through it again but i know if i don't relax it's going to happen again anyway. don't piss me off.

not that anyone cares or anything, just thought i would let you know that im not ok and thanks for asking. oh wait, you didn't.. nevermind, don't fuck with me cause i don't want anything to do with you. and if you don't want anything to do with me, tell me so i can fucking do something about it.

cough

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 23:52:38 GMT

im sick. i don't feel good. i don't feel like updating.
i didn't do my english homework i was supposed to do over the weekend cause of the pep rally i didn't feel like lugging my english book around with me. so now i have to read it all before fourth period. and answer questions.

bleh i am not looking forward to waking up early tomorrow.

cassie. remember when we saw alison? well later that day i said hi to her and we got caught up in a conversation and stuff. she got my sn. and she imed me yesterday and was wanting to hang out with me.

my parents are actually being nice to eachother and being cuddly.. i hope i don't get another sibbling running around.

he's back!

Wed, 01 Sep 2004 04:18:17 GMT

yeah. im back with mike...

lol.. j/k...
JUST JOSHIN YA!

the car.

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 15:31:33 GMT

GRRRRR THIS SUCKS!
my brother is moving back home because he has an opportunity to work in middlesex and my dad is going to give him the escort so he can travel to work and back. which defeats the whole purpose of me learning how to drive stick so i can take my ass to school and work.
urgh!
i mean im happy to have him home. but don't take my stuff away.
this is what i get for being the good child. i hate being the good child.

blink

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 14:35:14 GMT

hmm where do i begin?.........
eh im gonna jump around in this entry.
went to chuck e. cheese's last night. saw dan there hehehe he's taking over for jesse cause he's on vacation so i got a crap load of tokens for free. hehe we were only there for about an hour cause amanda was hungry so we went to applebees but there was a half hour wait, so we went over towards ruby tuesdays, but it started raining really hard and amanda couldn't see so she went to pull into carvel. but there was a car pulling out and she couldn't fit so she decided to accelerate after coming to a full stop and the other guy thought amanda was waiting for him so he went foward just as amanda was and there was almost an accident. scared the crap out of amanda and i gave out a chilling scream. twas a moment.
so we just pulled into the mark twain diner...food sucks over there. they don't even have decent coffee. i ended up getting hot chocolate which was nasty cause they didn't even mix it well. there were a bunch of clumps. and the food was soo much money too.
so after all of that i have a dollar left. my whole paycheck blown in two days. im never cashing the whole check again.
i bought new jeans and sneakers.. i was about to buy the thongs but didn't want to spend 12 dollars. i should have though cause it was a good deal. 5 thongs for $12.
i got myself tinkerbell socks and amanda lipgloss :-D but that didn't cost anything.
tomorrow im hanging out with mark cause we haven't hung out since monday.
oof me brother is calling.
got to get off
ttyl

the convo.

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 15:32:06 GMT

dead organism x: *smack*
Huck Finn Diner: hi
Huck Finn Diner: how are ya feeling?
dead organism x: you are in so much trouble
Huck Finn Diner: uh-oh
dead organism x: imma kill you,
Huck Finn Diner: why?
dead organism x: trying to get joe to ask questions about your crush
dead organism x: you want her.. not him..
dead organism x: this dana chick
Huck Finn Diner: wait...hang on a second...
dead organism x: what?
Huck Finn Diner: okay
Huck Finn Diner: joe just said the same thing to me
Huck Finn Diner: (that you were telling him not to)
Huck Finn Diner: first of all...lemme explain something
dead organism x: ok
Huck Finn Diner: actually, more important is this
Huck Finn Diner: your last fod entry...(yawn)...that wasn't directed at me...right?
dead organism x: towards everyone. just pissed off at everyone
Huck Finn Diner: okay...well...it kinda scared me...
dead organism x: don't worry about it
dead organism x: anyway
Huck Finn Diner: good
dead organism x: back on the topic
Huck Finn Diner: yep
dead organism x: you have to ask her these questions
dead organism x: not jpoe
dead organism x: joe*
Huck Finn Diner: i'm going to
Huck Finn Diner: after we decided we'd go to the movies, in the car, joe was like, "what do you want to know about dana? cause you know i'm going to be asking tons of questions"
Huck Finn Diner: i never told him i wanted him to ask them
dead organism x: alright
Huck Finn Diner: he just got annoyed at me because i haven't found out yet
dead organism x: i just told joe not to ask
Huck Finn Diner: and secondly, this isn't a serious thing at all
Huck Finn Diner: in fact, i doubt it'll go anywhere even past the 28th
dead organism x: that's the fun part
dead organism x: you take it as far as you possibly can
dead organism x: and it doesn't have to be serious
dead organism x: im not in a serious relationship with mark
Huck Finn Diner: yeah, i know...but i'm afraid of her thinking it is serious
Huck Finn Diner: besides, i don't even know how old she is yet
Huck Finn Diner: but i'm nearly positive she'
Huck Finn Diner: s older than i am
Huck Finn Diner: probably by more than a year
dead organism x: well. you can make a friend
Huck Finn Diner: that's what i'm going for
dead organism x: if she's close to your age. go for it.
Huck Finn Diner: yep
Huck Finn Diner: one thing i gotta warn ya about
Huck Finn Diner: we saw al at the diner a couple nights ago
dead organism x: yeah
Huck Finn Diner: and he asked how we were
Huck Finn Diner: so i explained to him what happened...
dead organism x: he thinks im a huss
Huck Finn Diner: but not in a nasty way...i only told him you had some things you were dealing with in your own life (no more detail than that), and i defended you as much as i could, but you know how he is...he said he might talk to you about this once his computer is fixed....
Huck Finn Diner: but just know that whatever he says, i defended you
dead organism x: it doesn't matter anyway
Huck Finn Diner: i know
Huck Finn Diner: joe says he's leaving to pick me up
Huck Finn Diner: which means i have to go in a minute
Huck Finn Diner: but i wanna tell ya something
dead organism x: ok
Huck Finn Diner: there's one person at pier 1
Huck Finn Diner: sharyn
Huck Finn Diner: her son is my age
Huck Finn Diner: and she noticed that i was down a few weeks ago
Huck Finn Diner: so i gave her just enough detail to know why, but not further
Huck Finn Diner: and she helped a lot with one thing she said
Huck Finn Diner: her son just found someone
Huck Finn Diner: a month before college
Huck Finn Diner: and now he's having trouble finding ways to see her, because she's going to tennessee to school and he's going to tufts...
Huck Finn Diner: so i think it was the right decision, and i'm glad you understood how i initially felt about it
Huck Finn Diner: and if it makes you feel any better now, i'm almost back to normal...
dead organism x: that's good
Huck Finn Diner: as for you....
dead organism x: as for me?
Huck Finn Diner: i really hope you're feeling better too
dead organism x: of course
Huck Finn Diner: good
Huck Finn Diner: i'm glad
Huck Finn Diner: and most of all i'm glad that entry wasn't specifically about me...cause as much as we should be seeing other people, i wanna be friends
Huck Finn Diner: and finally...
Huck Finn Diner: and then i gotta go
Huck Finn Diner: i've been doing college shopping lately...which involves trips to Bob's...
Huck Finn Diner: so if you should see me there, or jackie/cassie tell you they saw me there, it's not in a stalking way...i'm just doing shopping and chances are my mom'll be there too
Huck Finn Diner: but anyways...
dead organism x: ok
dead organism x: ttyl
Huck Finn Diner: i'm glad you hear you're feeling better
Huck Finn Diner: and yes, i'll be asking her those questions...you know how joe is...
Huck Finn Diner: okay see ya laura...
dead organism x: bye
Huck Finn Diner signed off at 11:37:31 AM.

the boredum

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 22:25:12 GMT

i want to crawl out of my skin. im so bored. someone save me!

the cramps.

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 09:53:14 GMT

well i finally got my period yesterday. i was sooo happy i got down on my knees and thanked the lord.
now im suffering with cramps.
up at fucking 5am because of them.
i hate this shit
im going out for a walk.
if i don't return in about an hour.
i have been raped and murdered.
either that or i decided to take a shower.
but even then i sould be back.
laters all.

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 19:20:39 GMT

come sail away with meeeee

the sale.

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 02:28:56 GMT

well i went to work today. and sean was working there. lol. imagine all of the jokes that went on between us.
meanwhile kenny was there too. lol he wanted me to make out with him (jokingly i hope) so the whole time he has been asking me to go into the fitting room the second stall. and i have been busting him saying that i have been waiting for him or something like that.
then i go into the storage room where sean was and he said that he wants to own me. i told him that i wasn't cheap. so he bought me for $3.00 on his credit card. and he even gave me the reciept. and im worth 6% sales tax. lmao. aaahh good friends i have.
i called mike and broke up with him officialy. we're still friends. we had a nice convo. he was crying. but i wasn't i understood. he wants to see me so he can give me a hug.
anyways. tis all for now
~crushin on you~

the clutter.

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 16:46:45 GMT

oof i can't think of anything anymore. i can't sleep as late.

im not getting sick anymore and im starting to gain the weight back.

oof i just stubbed my toe. ow.

icon searching is hard stuff! everytime i did a search i found anime stuff or movie icons. it was pissing me off.

thank you cassie for finding one for me! loves ya!

oh my.

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 03:34:58 GMT

read mike's entry.
opendiary.com
flamingcheese

the illness

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 18:47:04 GMT

well mike is sending me through a fucking guilt trip right now.
i finally got a chance to eat something today all on my own after what happened this morning. and my mom starts talking about him again and it's making me literally throw up. i told her that i really don't want to talk about it. and so she shuts up for a few hours and then goes and asks something else that has to do with him.
get off my back lady.
i lost another pound. at this rate i will be at my goal weight by friday. and of course once i get over him im going to gain it all back right?. that sucks.
anyways guess what cassie! we're getting our hair done today!
pants wants me to hang out with him and his boyfriend to try and get my mind off of this whole break up. ain't he sweet?
hmm having an interesting convo with adam right now.
dead organism x: what was captain hook's name before he lost his hand?
Adattude V1: hmm good question
Adattude V1: i think his name is James
Adattude V1: dunno last name
dead organism x: my boss said his name was sid. you say james i say karen. i think he was a lesbian woman but got a sex change
Adattude V1: oh, he was definately james
Adattude V1: because
Adattude V1: in the movie with robin williams Hook
Adattude V1: i remember in the end
Adattude V1: he said his full name "Captain James Hook"
dead organism x: oooooooohhhh
Adattude V1: but i thought u were asking what was his last name
dead organism x: yeah you're right
Adattude V1: Sid
Adattude V1: lol
dead organism x: this other girl said his name was captain hand.
Adattude V1: HA!
dead organism x: lol i had to remind her that when he was born his parents didn't name him captain hand.
dead organism x: it would be like naming a girl vagina
Adattude V1: =-O GENIUS
Adattude V1: no no
dead organism x: lol
Adattude V1: not just vagina
Adattude V1: CAPTAIN vagina
dead organism x: lmao
dead organism x: to the rescue
Adattude V1: no way
Adattude V1: Captain Vagina is a villain
Adattude V1: not a hero
dead organism x: well. if you are having problems having sex.
Adattude V1: Colonel Dick is the hero
dead organism x: wow.

the guy

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 04:07:08 GMT

well i broke up with my ex yesterday and he didn't take it so well.
we have been together for 13 months and the past few months he has been doing nothing but annoying me. and he's going to college so there really isn't anything to work out, because it was going to the pits anyway and im not going to be stuck here home waiting for his ass in college. when i can be out doing so much more.
did i forget to mention that he makes me sick? yeah literally i lost four pounds in two days. i think every over weight woman should be on this diet. all you have to do is be in a strong relationship for over a year get the guy to totaly fall for you and have him think that there is no one out there better than you. and then one day dump his ass cold. you will get a great rush feeling like you want to throw up everytime you think/talk about him or hear his name.
you get to the point where you don't even want to eat because you know you're going to throw up. then it gets to a point where it doesn't even want to go down the hatch. and if you try. you throw up whatever is left in your body.
everytime i tried to talk to him about something going on. the subject either turned around to him or he told me to relax and i was getting sick of it. i finally said something and it made him feel really bad.
honestly i really do think he is gay with all the shit that he says and the way he acts. i think he's just about had it and about to get out of the closet. good thing i left before he came out too soon.
i hope he doesn't start stalking me now. my mom and i don't have much luck with breaking up with mikes. before my mom got married to my dad she was dating this mike dude who tried to rape, abuse, rob, anything he could to my mom when my she tried to break up with him. but shh im not supposed to tell anyone. she had to file for a restraining order against him because he was still stalking her after my mom married my dad.
mike keeps sending me to this website that's a post and the question was "Do long term relationships work?" and all of the answers happen to be yes. it's only pissing me off more.
he's probably crying right now
i have all of the things he ever gave to me in a shoe box. im debating if i want to put it in the back of my closet or just throw it out.
i guess this is all for now.